Andy Rooney's view of the world
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Andy Rooney's View of the World-Fiction!

bulletSummary of the eRumor
A commentary attributed to CBS's Andy Rooney.
 

 

 

bulletThe Truth
This is a compilation of comments from at least a couple of sources including an eRumor that has been circulated as having been written by either Ted Nugent or George Carlin.  

The actual origin, we have not found.

It is not from Andy Rooney.
A real example of the eRumor as it has appeared on the Internet:

 -----  
   ANDY ROONEY'S OPINION Date: Sat, 15 Feb 2003 17:50:02 -0500
   
    I like big cars, big boats, big motorcycles, big houses and big
    campfires. I believe the money I make belongs to me and my
family,
   not
    some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give
it
   away
    to crack addicts for squirting out babies. Guns do not make you
a
    killer.* I think killing makes you a killer.* You can kill
someone
   with
    a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from
   driving
   to
    the ball game. I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a
   reason,
    that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl
   Scouts!
    I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a
phobia,
   it
    is an opinion. I don't think being a minority makes you a
victim of
    anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that
are
   truly
    discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund,
Jet
    Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black
America.
   Try
    to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund,* Cloud
   Magazine,
    White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America and see
what
    happens. Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door. I have
the
    right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different,
   weird,
    or tick me off.* When 70% of the people who get arrested are
black,
   in
    cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial
    profiling, it is the law of statistics. I know what sex is, and
   there
    are not varying degrees of it. If I received sex from one of
my
    subordinates in my office, it wouldn't be a private matter or my
    personal business. I would be "FIRED" immediately! I believe
that
   if
    you are selling me a milk shake, a pack of cigarettes, a
newspaper
   or
   a
    hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if
you
    want to be an American citizen you should have to speak English!

   (or
    don't collect our welfare). My father and grandfather shouldn't
   have
   to
    die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to
come
   over
    and disrespect ours. I think the police should have every right
to
    shoot your sorry ass if you threaten them after they tell you to
   stop.
    If you can't understand the word "freeze" or "stop" in English,
see
   the
    above lines. I feel much safer letting a machine with no
political
    affiliation recount votes when needed. I know what the
definition
   of
    lying is. I don't think just because you were not born in this
   country,
    you are qualified for any special loan programs, government
   sponsored
    bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee
   shop,
    trinket store, or any other business. We did not go to the aid
of
    certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend
their
    freedoms so that decades later they could come over here and
tell us
   our
    constitution is a living document and open to their
interpretations.
   I
    don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor. I know wrestling
is
   fake,
    but so are movies and television, and that doesn't stop you from
    watching them. I believe a self-righteous liberal or
conservative
   with
    a cause is more dangerous than a Hell's Angel with an attitude.
I
   think
    Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and
continue
   to
    make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating
   system
    that's better and put your name on the building. Ask your buddy
   that
    invented the Internet to help you. It doesn't take a whole
village
   to
    raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to
the
   kid
    and smack their little ass' when necessary and say "NO." "I
think
    tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't
   pretend
    they are a political statement. And Please stay home until that
new
   lip
    ring heals, I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as
you
    serve me french fries! I am sick of "Political Correctness" and
of
   all
    the suck ups that go along with it. I know a lot of black
people,
   and
    not a single one of them was born in Africa, so how can they be
    "African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go
   around
    saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great,
   great,
    great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from
   America
    and nowhere else. And if you don't like my point of view,
tough!
   
    Andy is 83 and entitled to his opinion.
   
   Have a great day!
  
 

 

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