Thoughts on Aging from Comedian George Carlin-Fiction!

 

 

 

Summary of the eRumor:
A humorous commentary on aging with some thoughtful suggestion about how to keep a youthful perspective while growing older and said to have been created by comedian George Carlin.
 
The Truth:  
We've not found any evidence that this is from George Carlin or that he ever performed it. It is a combination of two different collections of sayings about aging that have been put together and credited to him.  They've circulated since late in 2003.

The first one is all over the Internet, ends with the phrase "I'm one hundred and a half!"
and possibly goes back to a routine by comedian and actor Larry Miller.

Comedian and actor Larry Miller

The next one, titled "How to Stay Young" is also circulated widely by itself and is usually attributed to George Carlin, but we have not been able to find where it really came from.

Updated 05/24/09

A real example of the eRumor as it has appeared on the Internet:

IF YOU DON'T READ THIS TO THE VERY END, YOU HAVE LOST A DAY IN  YOUR LIFE. AND WHEN YOU HAVE FINISHED, DO AS I AM DOING
  AND SEND IT ON.
 
    George Carlin's Views on Aging
 
    Do you realize that the only time in our lives
  when we like to
   Get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years
  old, you're so
   Excited about aging that you think in fractions.
    "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never
   thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on
  five! That's
   the key.
    You get into your teens, now they can't hold you
  back. You jump
   To the next number, or even a few ahead.
    "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could
  be 13, but
   hey,you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your
  life . . you
   Become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . YOU BECOME 21.
   YESSSS!!!
    But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened
  there? Makes you
   Sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out.
  There's no fun
   now,
   you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
    You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING
  40. Whoa! Put
   on
   the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it,
  you REACH 50 and
   your dreams are gone.
    But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think
  you would!
    So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and
  MAKE it to 60.
    You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70!
  After that it's a
   day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
    You get into your 80s and every day is a complete
  cycle; you HIT
   lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't
  end there.
   Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."
    Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you
   become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
    May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
 
    HOW TO STAY YOUNG
 
    1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes
  age, weight and
   height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why
  you pay "them "
    2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
    3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts,
   gardening,whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle
  mind is the
   devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
    4. Enjoy the simple things.
    5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you
  gasp for breath.
    6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on.
  The only
   person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be
  ALIVE while
   you are alive.
    7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether
  it's family,
   pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies,
  whatever. Your
   home is your refuge.
    8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve
  it. If it is
   unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can
  improve, get help.
    9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the
  mall, even to the
   Next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
    10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every
   opportunity.
   AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
    Life is not measured by the number of breaths we
  take, but by
   The moments that take our breath away.