Thoughts on Aging
from Comedian George Carlin-Fiction!
Summary of the eRumor: A humorous commentary on aging
with some thoughtful suggestion about how to keep a youthful perspective
while growing older and said to have been created by comedian George
The Truth: We've not found any evidence
that this is from George Carlin or that he ever performed it. It is a combination of two different
collections of sayings about aging that have been put together and
credited to him. They've circulated since late in 2003.
The first one is all over the Internet, ends with the phrase "I'm one
hundred and a half!" and possibly
goes back to a routine by comedian and actor Larry Miller.
Comedian and actor Larry Miller
The next one, titled "How to Stay
Young" is also circulated widely by itself and is usually
attributed to George Carlin, but we have not been able to find where it
really came from.
A real example of the eRumor as it has
appeared on the Internet:
IF YOU DON'T READ THIS TO THE VERY END, YOU HAVE LOST A DAY IN YOUR LIFE. AND WHEN YOU HAVE FINISHED, DO AS I AM DOING
AND SEND IT ON.
George Carlin's Views on Aging
Do you realize that the only time in our lives
when we like to
Get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years
old, you're so
Excited about aging that you think in fractions.
"How old are you?" "I'm four and a
half!" You're never
thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you
back. You jump
To the next number, or even a few ahead.
"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be
16!" You could
be 13, but
hey,you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your
life . . you
Become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . YOU
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened
there? Makes you
Sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out.
There's no fun
you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING
40. Whoa! Put
the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it,
you REACH 50 and
your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and
MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70!
After that it's a
day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80s and every day is a complete
cycle; you HIT
lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't
Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over
become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes
age, weight and
height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why
you pay "them "
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer,
gardening,whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle
mind is the
devil's workshop." And the devil's name is
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you
gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on.
person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be
you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether
pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies,
home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve
it. If it is
unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can
improve, get help.
9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the
mall, even to the
Next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we
take, but by
The moments that take our breath away.