Doug
Patton Column of June 6, 2005
First, Newsweek pulled a Dan Rather on us, running a fabricated story just
because they wanted it to be true. They told the world that an American
guard at the Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, detention center had ripped pages
from a prisoner’s Koran and flushed it down a toilet. As a result,
innocent people died when practitioners of Islam rioted in protest in
Afghanistan
.
Oops, said Newsweek, it seems we can’t back up our story. Oh well,
it’s probably true; we just can’t prove it.
The lie heard round the world about the flushed
Koran has caused convulsions in the Bush Administration and forced the
Pentagon to launch an investigation of unfounded allegations contained
in an unsubstantiated story. The results of said investigation are now
in, and it seems there are at least five incidents of “mishandling”
of the Koran at Gitmo.
Well, guess what? I
DON’T CARE!
Are we fighting a war on terror or aren’t we?
Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our
shores on September 11, 2001? Were people from all over the world,
mostly Americans, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown
Manhattan
, across the Potomac from our nation’s capitol and in a field in
Pennsylvania
? Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible,
burning death that day, or didn’t they?
And I’m supposed to care that a copy of the
Koran was “desecrated” when an overworked American soldier kicked it
or got it wet? Well, I don’t. I don’t care at all.
I’ll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns
himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on
9/11.
I’ll care about the Koran when the fanatics in
the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere possession
of which is a crime in
Saudi Arabia
.
I’ll care when
Abu Musab al-Zarqawi
tells the world he is sorry for hacking off Nick Berg’s head while
Berg screamed through his gurgling, slashed throat.
I’ll care when the cowardly so-called
“insurgents” in
Iraq
come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion
by hiding in mosques.
I’ll care when the mindless zealots who blow
themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children
within range of their suicide bombs.
I’ll care when the American media stops
pretending that their First Amendment liberties are somehow derived from
international law instead of the United States Constitution’s Bill of
Rights.
I’ll care when Clinton-appointed judges stop
ordering my government to release photos of the abuses at Abu Ghraib,
which are sure to set off the Islamic extremists just as
Newsweek’s lies did a few weeks ago.
In the meantime, when I hear a story about a brave
marine roughing up an Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, know this:
I don’t care.
When I see a fuzzy photo of a pile of naked Iraqi
prisoners who have been humiliated in what amounts to a college hazing
incident, rest assured that I don’t care.
When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the
head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you
can take it to the bank that I don’t care.
When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a
Koran paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is
being “mishandled,” you can absolutely believe in your heart of
hearts that I don’t care.
And
oh, by the way, I’ve noticed that sometimes it’s spelled “Koran”
and other times “Quran.” Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and — you guessed
it — I don’t care!
