1) "We're not good, they're not evil, everything
Listen carefully: We're good, they're evil, nothing is
with me now and free yourselves. You see, folks, saying "We're
doesn't mean "We're perfect." Okay? The only perfect being is
guy on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. The plain fact is that our
country has, with all our mistakes and blunders, always been and always
be, the greatest beacon of freedom, charity, opportunity, and affection
history. If you need proof, open all the borders on Earth and see what
happens. In about half a day, the entire world would be a ghost town,
the United States would look like one giant line to see "The
2) "Violence only leads to more violence."
This one is so stupid you usually have to be the
president of an Ivy League
university to say it. Here's the truth, which you know in your heads and
hearts already: Ineffective, unfocused violence leads to more violence.
Limp, panicky, half-measures lead to more violence. However, complete,
fully-thought-through, professional, well- executed violence never leads
more violence because, you see, afterwards, the other guys are all dead.
That's right, dead. Not "on trial," not
"reeducated," not "nurtured back
into the bosom of love." Dead. D-E-Well, you get the idea.
3) "The CIA. and the rest of our intelligence
community has failed us."
For 25 years we have chained our spies like dogs to a
stake in the ground,
and now that the house has been robbed, we yell at them for not
us. Starting in the late seventies, under Carter appointee Stansfield
Turner, the giant brains who get these giant ideas decided that the best
to gather international intelligence was to use spy satellites."
all," they reasoned, "you can see a license plate from 200
This is very helpful if you've been attacked by a license plate.
Unfortunately, we were attacked by humans. Finding humans is not
with satellites. You have to use other humans. When we bought all our
satellites, we fired all our humans, and here's the really stupid part.
takes years, decades to infiltrate new humans into the worst places of
world. You can't just have a guy who looks like Gary Busey in a Spring
Break '93 sweatshirt plop himself down in a coffee shop in Kabul and say
"Hiya, boys. Gee, I sure would like to meet that bin Laden fella."
you can, but all you'd be doing is giving the bad guys a story they'll
telling for years.
4) "These people are poor and helpless, and
that's why they're angry at us."
Uh-huh, and Jeffrey Dahmer's frozen head collection
was just a desperate cry
for help. The terrorists and their backers are richer than Elton John
ironically, a good deal less annoying. The poor helpless people, you
are the villagers they tortured and murdered to stay in power.Mohamed
Atta, one of the evil scumbags who steered those planes into the killing
grounds (I'm sorry, one of the "alleged hijackers," according
to CNN - they
stopped using the word "terrorist," you know), is the son of a
surgeon. But you knew this, too. In the sixties and seventies, all the
pinheads marching against the war were upper-middle-class college kids
grabbed any cause they could think of to get out of their final papers
spend more time drinking. At least, that was my excuse. It's the same
today. Take the Anti-Global-Warming (or is it World Trade? Oh who knows
what the hell they want demonstrators) They all charged their black
and plane tickets on dad's credit card before driving to the airport in
5) "Any profiling is racial profiling."
Who's killing us here, the Norwegians? Just days after
the attack, the New
York Times had an article saying dozens of extended members of the
gazillionaire bin Laden family living in America were afraid of
and left in a huff, never to return to studying at Harvard and using too
much Drakkar. I'm crushed. I think we're all crushed.Please come back.
With a cherry on top? Why don't they just change their names, anyway?
happened in the past. Think about it. How many Adolfs do you run into
these days? Shortly after that, I remember watching TV with my jaw on
floor as a government official actually said, "That little old
from Sioux City could be carrying something."
Okay, how about this: No, she couldn't. It would never
be the grandmother
from Sioux City. Is it even possible? What are the odds? Winning a
hundred Powerball lotteries in a row? A thousand? A million? And now a
Secret Service guy has been tossed off a plane and we're all supposed to
about it because he's an Arab? Didn't it have the tiniest bit to do with
the fact that he filled out his forms incorrectly ---three times?And
left an Arab history book on his seat as he strolled off the plane?And
came back? Armed? Let's please all stop singing "We Are the
World" for a
minute and think practically. I don't want to be sitting on the floor in
the back of a plane four seconds away from hitting Mt. Rushmore and
grinning, to the guy next to me to say, "Well, at least we didn't
SO HERE'S what I resolve for the new year:
Never to forget our murdered brothers and sisters.
Never to let the relativists get away with their
After all, no matter what your daughter's political
science professor says,
we didn't start this.
Have you seen that bumper sticker that says, "No
More Hiroshimas"? I wish I
had one that says, "You First. No More Pearl Harbors."
General USAF ret