Rumsfeld shutting down Ted Kennedy-Fiction!

The Perfect Squelch: Rumsfeld Shutting Down Ted Kennedy-Fiction!

Summary of the eRumor
An alleged exchange between U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and Senator Ted Kennedy during Rumsfeld testimony before congress.
Rumsfeld is quoted as having shut down Kennedy by making reference to a 1969 incident in which a woman died in a car driven off a bridge by the Senator.

The Truth
The eRumor is not true.
This particular exchange never took place between Rumsfeld and Kennedy.
The article is a satire from www.scrappleface.com.

This is one of many articles taken from news-satire sites and circulated on the Internet as though it is real.

Last updated 3/1/04

A real example of the eRumor as it has appeared on the Internet:

Subject: Rumsfield at Kennedy's hearing

You will only understand the symbolism of the following if you learned through extraneous history or were old enough to have watched it play out that Ted Kennedy drove off of a bridge in Massachusetts on his way to an island with Mary Joe Kopechne in the late 60's. He did NOT seek help to rescue her when he surfaced. Instead he made his way to a hotel, called friends and the next morning reported the accident.

She was, needless to say, both dead and wet. Kennedy faced no type of any censure or reprimand, much less any legal punishment for this negligent act of manslaughter. Kennedy power extends wide in that part of America.

You have got to love the chutzpah of Rumsfield.

February 05, 2004

Rumsfield: Kennedy 'All Wet' About Bush Lies

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfield told Sen. Edward M. Kennedy yesterday that he was "all wet" when the Senator alleged that the Bush administration lied about Iraq's weapons of mass destruction to justify going to war. The verbal clash came during Mr. Rumsfield testimony at a Senate Armed Services Committee hearing probing the state of pre-war intelligence.

Sen. Kennedy began his questioning of the Defense Secretary by saying, "Don't you think some members of the Bush administration should be held legally accountable for the lies they told about Iraqi weapons, and the subsequent cover-up?"

"First, with all due respect Senator Kennedy, you're all wet," said Mr. Rumsfield "The administration has not lied or covered up. However, in general, I do believe that when a man commits a crime he should face the bar of justice. He should not be allowed to serve in positions of power in our government, and be hailed as a leader, when the question of his guilt remains unresolved, if you know what I mean."

"I'm sure I do not know what you mean," Mr. Kennedy said. "But the American people deserve to know why you can't find Saddam's weapons of mass destruction."

"Sometimes things are hard to find, even when you know where they are," said Mr. Rumsfield. "For example, I've heard of a man who missed a bridge and drove his car into the water, even though he knew where the bridge was. And then sometimes you just keep diving into a problem and despite repeated efforts, you come up empty handed. That doesn't mean that nothing's there. As you know, eventually, the truth comes to light."

Having no further questions, Mr. Kennedy yielded the remainder of his time.