Subject: Louisiana Lawyer
A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client.
He was told the loan
would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of
property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated
back
to 1803, which took the Lawyer three months to track down. After sending
the
information to the FHA, he received the following reply:
(Actual letter)
"Upon review of your letter adjoining your
client's loan application, we
note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we
compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the
application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the
proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be
accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its
origin."
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual
letter):
"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156
has been received. I note
that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered
by
the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this
country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know
that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in 1803, the year
of
origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed
FHA
bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained
from
France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest
from Spain. The land came
into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492
by
a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the
privilege
of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella. The
good
queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles
as
the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before
she
sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition. Now the Pope, as I'm
sure
you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and
God,it is
commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe
to
presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana.
God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His
origins date back, to
before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA. I
hope
you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our
damn
loan?"
The loan was approved.
