Hey everyone,
So you are walking into a McDonalds
store. You are waiting behind the guy who can't make up his mind despite
the fact that the menu is the same EVERY DAY, the entire 10-12 boys
soccer team, and two teenagers whom you really can't tell what planet
they are from (but they sure aren't from earth.... earthlings don't put
earring in certain places, it's just not cricket.) Once you finally get
to the front of the line, you look over the menu and make your order.
Sit down, and watch in horror as it starts crawling away from you... oh
wait, that's Taco Bell.
But I bet you have never noticed that
the milkshakes served at McDonals reads "Shakes" on the menu. It does
not say "Milkshakes." Check it out. I bet you've never noticed that
before. Peculiar? Well, the reason that the menu does not say
"milkshakes" is because (I swear I am not kidding) the shakes have more
fat (36g) than what is legally allowed in a "milkshake" (25g) and
therefore it is illegal for McDonalds to call them milkshakes. They
instead have to be called "shakes."
It is not legal to be called a
milkshake?????? Why does such a law exist? Someone, who obviously cared
a lot about this (Milkshake Fat Police?) decided that we needed to
regulate rogue milkshake vendors who decided to put too much fat in
their milkshakes. So they proposed this law to Congress, who decided
that, since this was of absolutely no importance what so ever, that it
was absolutely to spend millions of dollars in the congressional
districts on milkshake research. People were probably brought in and
paid to drink large quantities of regular milkshakes and McDonalds
milkshakes. Invariably, everyone got fat, but apparently the people who
drank McDonalds milkshakes got fatter faster. So then the findings were
brought before congress, who apparently have put this on higher priority
than Social Security and Medicare, because they have passed the
milkshake law but have not fixed either of those programs.
So you may be asking yourself:
1) What should I do if I find an illegally named milkshake?
Answer: Do NOT drink it! It can make you dangerously fat! Be careful,
sometimes looking at a "shake" will place celluite on your hips and
thighs.
2)Who should I report it to?
Answer: Unfortunately, I have not found the location of the Milkshake
Fat Police. If you need to, contact your local police. Their reaction
should be priceless....
Another example:
Hi All,
Just thought you'd like to know....
Yesterday, at my store, I was talking with a regular customer who is a
scientist of some sorts...and he asked me if I ever wondered why/how
McDonald's shakes never melted. He said he and his buddies decided to
break down a shake in their lab one time and found that all it consisted
of was sugar infused plastic.
He said that McDonald's had to drop
the word "milk" because it didn't have any milk product in it...and when
they did add it, by law, they were only required to add 2% of the shake
a milk product to call it "milk shake" again.
He said all the shakes at the fast
foods are the same except, I think, Burger King.
Pretty gnarly...
