Man Responsible For Olympic Ring
Mishap Found Dead In Sochi
man responsible for operating the Olympic Rings during last night’s
Winter Olympics opening ceremony in Russia was found dead today.
According to local reports the body of Boris Avdeyev was found his hotel
room early this morning with multiple stab wounds.
Avdeyev was a technical specialist
responsible for the Olympic Ring spectacle, which embarrassingly
malfunctioned last night. Five animatronic snowflakes were supposed to
transform into Olympic Rings. The first four functioned properly but the
fifth snowflake failed to change shape.
Although his body was badly mangled and the wounds were consistent with
a struggle, so far officials say they don't suspect foul play.
“Sure there were stab wounds and bruises all over the body,” admits the
lead investigator on the case. “But who knows what caused them. Maybe he
tripped and fell on a set of knives. Right now we’re ruling this an
“It’s terrible when accidents like this happen. But then again, maybe
Mr. Avdeyev should have thought twice before he screwed up the Olympics.
Accidents tend to happen to people who betray Russia.”
Despite the government’s story, fellow hotel guests reported hearing a
struggle in Avdeyev’s room around 3 a.m. local time.
“There was a very loud noise last night,” Canadian bobsled member Guy
Lafleur, who was staying two hotel rooms down. “I called the front desk
but the phone didn't work so I went to the room where the sound was
coming from and saw three big men leave the room.
I asked if there was a problem and they told me to go back to my room.
Then this morning I find out the guy inside was dead. Very scary I told
the police what I saw but they told me to forget what I saw. They were
Putin, The Man You Can Trust
It was reported that Vladimir Putin was visibly upset with the botched
ending of the ceremony and he may have been out for blood. He stormed
out of the stadium and took off in a helicopter before the media could
ask him any questions.
The embarrassment of his nation could have been too much for him to
“Putin loves Russia to death,” said Alexander Zhukov, the Russian
Olympic Committee president. “He also loves accountability.”
While there has not been accountability from the contractors responsible
for building the Olympic Village, the ceremony was a world wide event
for everyone to see. Putin may hold that to a higher level.
“If he feels the Ceremony reflects him, who knows what he’ll do to seek
justice,” said Zhukov before part of a hotel ceiling crashed to the
floor beside him. “All I know is Borris Avdeyev failed Russia and got
what he deserved.” More of the hotel began to crumble and the interview
had to be cut short.