Andy Rooney’s View of the World–Fiction!
Summary of eRumor:
A commentary attributed to CBS’s Andy Rooney.
This is a compilation of comments from at least a couple of sources including an eRumor that has been circulated as having been written by either Ted Nugent or George Carlin.
The actual origin, we have not found.
It is not from Andy Rooney.
ANDY ROONEY’S OPINION Date: Sat, 15 Feb 2003 17:50:02 -0500
I like big cars, big boats, big motorcycles, big houses and big
campfires. I believe the money I make belongs to me and my
some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give
to crack addicts for squirting out babies. Guns do not make you
killer.* I think killing makes you a killer.* You can kill
a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from
the ball game. I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a
that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl
I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a
is an opinion. I don’t think being a minority makes you a
anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that
discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund,
Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black
to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund,* Cloud
White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America and see
happens. Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door. I have
right “NOT” to be tolerant of others because they are different,
or tick me off.* When 70% of the people who get arrested are
cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial
profiling, it is the law of statistics. I know what sex is, and
are not varying degrees of it. If I received sex from one of
subordinates in my office, it wouldn’t be a private matter or my
personal business. I would be “FIRED” immediately! I believe
you are selling me a milk shake, a pack of cigarettes, a
hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if
want to be an American citizen you should have to speak English!
don’t collect our welfare). My father and grandfather shouldn’t
die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to
and disrespect ours. I think the police should have every right
shoot your sorry ass if you threaten them after they tell you to
If you can’t understand the word “freeze” or “stop” in English,
above lines. I feel much safer letting a machine with no
affiliation recount votes when needed. I know what the
lying is. I don’t think just because you were not born in this
you are qualified for any special loan programs, government
bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee
trinket store, or any other business. We did not go to the aid
certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend
freedoms so that decades later they could come over here and
constitution is a living document and open to their
don’t hate the rich. I don’t pity the poor. I know wrestling
but so are movies and television, and that doesn’t stop you from
watching them. I believe a self-righteous liberal or
a cause is more dangerous than a Hell’s Angel with an attitude.
Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and
make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating
that’s better and put your name on the building. Ask your buddy
invented the Internet to help you. It doesn’t take a whole
raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to
and smack their little ass’ when necessary and say “NO.” “I
tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don’t
they are a political statement. And Please stay home until that
ring heals, I don’t want to look at your ugly infected mouth as
serve me french fries! I am sick of “Political Correctness” and
the suck ups that go along with it. I know a lot of black
not a single one of them was born in Africa, so how can they be
“African-Americans”? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don’t go
saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great,
great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from
and nowhere else. And if you don’t like my point of view,
Andy is 83 and entitled to his opinion.
Have a great day!