Democrats Introduce Americans with No Abilities Act (ANNA)-Fiction!
Democrats Introduce Americans with No Abilities Act (ANNA)-Fiction!Summary of eRumor: Senate Democrats have introduced a bill called the Americans with No Abilities Act, or ANNA, to provide benefits to Americans who "lack any real skills or ambition." The Truth: Claims about the Americans with No Abilities Act, or ANNA, stem from satire published by The Onion in 1998. Various versions of the rumor that have cropped up over the last two decades have been mistaken for factual news. The original article was published by The Onion, a well-known satirical publication, on June 24, 1998, under the headline, "Congress Passes Americans With No Abilities Act." The report begins:
WASHINGTON, DC—On Tuesday, Congress approved the Americans With No Abilities Act, sweeping new legislation that provides benefits and protection for more than 135 million talentless Americans. The act, signed into law by President Clinton shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory for the millions upon millions of U.S. citizens who lack any real skills or uses. "Roughly 50 percent of Americans—through no fault of their own--do not possess the talent necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Clinton, a longtime ANA supporter. "Their lives are futile hamster-wheel existences of unrewarding, dead-end busywork: xeroxing documents written by others, fulfilling mail-in rebates for Black & Decker toaster ovens, and processing bureaucratic forms that nobody will ever see. Sadly, for these millions of nonabled Americans, the American dream of working hard and moving up through the ranks is simply not a reality."The "report" goes on to claim that 25 million "important-sounding" jobs would be created under the bill for "non-abled" Americans without any workforce skills. Over the years, the concept of the Americans with No Abilities Act have periodically resurfaced. In some instances, The Onion article has been mistaken for news. That happened most recently when an updated version of the American with No Abilities Act rumor began circulating in April 2017. That version sites U.S. Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-CA) and U.S. Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) as champions of the bill, which includes language taken word-for-word from The Onion article:
Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.Given that the latest version implies that Democrats held control of the Senate at the time of its writing, it was likely written before Democrats lost control of the Senate in 2014. However, it's not clear where this version of the rumor originated, or if was meant as a joke or as fake news. Nevertheless, claims about the Americans with No Abilities Act are "fiction."
Collected on: 06/02/2017
A real example of the eRumor as it has appeared on the Internet:
The Americans With No Abilities Act (ANAA).
The Democratic Senate is considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many more Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills and ambition.
“Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,” said California Sen. Barbara Boxer. “We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing.”
In a Capitol Hill press conference, Nancy Pelosi pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons with No Ability (63 percent).
Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.
Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability (POI) into middle-management positions, and give a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.
Finally, the Americans With No Abilities Act contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, “Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?”
“As a non-abled person, I can’t be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,” said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Mich., due to her inability to remember “righty tighty, lefty loosey”. “This new law should be real good for people like me. I’ll finally have job security.” With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Said Sen. Dick Durbin, II: “As a senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so.”
This message was approved by Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Diane Feinstein, Barbara Boxer, Maxine (WaWa) Waters & Nancy Pelosi.