crack up - must read to the bottom.
For anyone who hasn't already seen David Letterman's take onthis:
This is a True Story...
On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of
quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots fordinner with her husband in the hotel dining
But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room. "I'll be right
back and we'll go to eat," she told her husband andshe
carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator.As
she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed two menalready
aboard. Both were black. One of them was big..very big... an intimidating
figure. The woman froze.Her first
thought was: These two are going to rob me.
Her next thought was: Don't be a bigot; they look like
perfectly nice gentlemen. But racial stereotypes are powerful, andfear immobilized her.She
stood and stared at the two men. She felt anxious,flustered
and ashamed. She hoped they didn't read her mind . Surely they knew her
hesitation about joining them the elevator
was all too obvious. Her face was flushed.She
couldn't just stand there, so with a mighty effort of will
she picked up one foot and stepped forward and followed with theother foot and was on the elevator.
Avoiding eye contact, she turned around stiffly and faced the
elevator doors as they closed. A second passed, and then anothersecond, and then another. Her fear increased!The elevator didn't move. Panic consumed her.My God,
she thought, I'm trapped and about to be robbed!Her
heart plummeted. Perspiration poured from every pore.
Then ... One of the men said, "Hit the floor.
Instinct told her: Do what they tell you.The
bucket of quarters flew upwards as she threw out her armsand
collapsed on the elevator carpet. A shower of coins
rained down on her. Take my money and spare me, she prayed.More seconds passed. She heard one of the men
"Ma'am, if you'll just tell us what floor you're going to, we'll
push the button." The one who said it had a little troublegetting the words out. He was trying mightily
to hold in a
belly laugh. She lifted her head and looked up at thetwo
men. They reached down to help her up.
Confused, she struggled to her feet. "When I told my man here
to hit the floor," said the average sized one, "I meant thathe should hit the elevator button for our
floor. I didn't mean
for you to hit the floor, ma'am." He spoke genially.He bit his lip. It was obvious he was having a
hard timenot laughing.
She thought: My God, what a spectacle I've made of myself.
She was too humiliated to speak. She wanted to blurt out an
apology, but words failed her. How do you apologize to two perfectly respectable
gentlemen for behaving as though they were going to rob you?
She didn't know what to say. The 3 of them gathered up the
The card said: "Thanks for the best laugh we've had in years."
It was signed,
Eddie Murphy & Michael Jordan